Lately, I’ve felt like something was missing in my life. I know that I’ve been going through a lot of changes, such as my new home, kinda new friends, and less time with the family. I’m not saying that change is bad, but it is definitely hard to getting use to.

Found a little time to myself tonight, and I ended up drifting to a place I haven’t visited in a while, a place I havent gone to in months, and a place I felt like was a distant love. My music, and my bands. Just listening to them brought back some amazing times, when life wasn’t like this. I miss this life, and its hard incorporating them in my new one. I slip away sometimes, and with the distance, it seperates me from the worry free life I had. I was young, or at least I felt like it, but moments like those made me feel like I was on top of the world. I feel like I’m missing out on so much, so much that I am crying right now. The emotional attachment that I had to these people and to their music is to hard to let go. I know I dont have to let them go entirely, but I just dont feel like myself without them.

I haven’t gone to a concert in a year. And it’s bumming me out. I want to sing to top of my lungs to my favourite songs, and with my most adored bands with people I dont know, but understand, as we all have the same compassion for music. I want to feel the rhythm and life from the distant stage, and witness their music come back to me.

So I wipe these tears knowing they still live on, and they still live through their fans and their music. Fans like me, who fall in love with them, all over again to the beat of their drum, rhythm of their base, strum of their guitar, and the heart lifting sounds of their voices.

Stay with me forever, as you’ve become part of me, a part of me that I can’t let go.

So, its been several months since my last entry, and to tell you the truth, I seriously missed tumblr. Summer’s come and gone, and now it’s back to school. I’ve decided that it was time for me to move out, and also to move closer to my school. Considering my 2 hour bus mission to school every day, and 2 hours back (sometimes even longer in the winter) I calculated it, and it’s about 2 days out of my whole month busing back and forth. So MUCH time wasted.
So I moved in on Labour day, and at first my parents and my room-mate’s parents we’re not thrilled with the place AT ALL. They hated it. So we had a friend hook us up with professional cleaners, and let me tell you, they did a HELL of a good job! Now i talk to you, tumblr pplz, in my new and clean basement :)

And so, the stress begins with school. Money money, study study. no sleep. no fun.

yay.

Just wanted to say how amazing it was to spend this day with you.
It was so simple and real and it was all that I wanted.
Nothing fancy, just these moments with you is enough.
love you, thanks for an amazing day.

PS; i hope all those ants and mosquitoes die!

TGFV - thank god for vagina … Lower insurance rates. Thank gosh.
other than that, ” no one got sucked up into the sky? Boring” lol words from the bf.
I agree with him. I gotta be honest, during work I was constantly looking at that clock waiting for 6pm, and when that time arrived I expected a “boom” a “wham” a “kabloom” but nothing.
but then again, very thankful that I am still here. I am not done with this planet yet.

My day was …I don’t know. I mean, I guess it was proactive, if you would call 8 hours of inclass sessions for driving school, then going home, then going out, buying movies, then going home and watching those movies, then finally getting tired of having your eyes glued to the television, then deciding to catch up on your reading while waiting for your boyfriend to call you, who btw, you were suppose to see today but didn’t end up doing because of jugemental and anal parents… Then yes. It was proactive.
But after watching some movies, it always gets me to reflect on my life, learning that we always end up hurting the ones we loved the most. This has been occurring especially in the last month. My parents just wanted me home for one day, and they haven’t gotten that for a while. It felt nice being home. In comfort and peace. I just wish I could accompany the requests of everyone. Its so hard to satisfy all the ones you love. I guess you just have to prioritize them, and seriously find what to do, and no matter what, you will never be truly satisfied with your decisions.
& this is one thing I will have to learn to live through.

I wish I had all day and all night with you.
A day like this which lasted, and where you didn’t have to depart.
But soon we’ll be together again, time will be on our side, and it looks like a good future.
Thanks for a great day.
Now back to work till saturday! Yippie!

On my blackberry there’s a Memo application, and in there I have class notes, poems, random lists and this :

Kaaathhherryyyyynneee ! How are yoouuu
I like your pohooneee
Kaay bye darlinggg
- kaayleeen

God I miss this girl. Yo lady. If your reading! I desperately want to hang out with you! I’ve missed out on soo much of your life, and I feel this emptiness inside me, where you use to be.

Yay, so tomorrow’s going to be eventful. Pretty much going to “wake & bake with some friends from work. Boy am I exciteddd. Aftahh that going to see the man. And he”s finally coming to browntown, which ii would say is a once every month kinda thing for him. Hmm I hope he shows, he PROMISED and I will choose to follow him to that promise. Anyways. Its been fun talking to myself. Going to get some snores innnn. By3! Ps. Who ever is reading this, YOU MUST TRY THE SMORES DONUT from TIMMIES!!